Many states do not have specific laws or court decisions on gay adoption or gay foster parenting.
Eleven states and Washington, D.C. either implicitly or explicitly state that sexual orientation cannot legally prevent gay and lesbians from adopting. Three states have laws denying gays and lesbians the right to adopt or take in foster children. Though Mississippi allows single gays and lesbians to adopt, it prohibits same-sex couples from adopting. Utah excludes same-sex couples indirectly through a statute barring all unmarried couples from adopting or taking in foster children. Florida is currently the only state that specifically bans "homosexual" individuals from adopting, although the state does allow them to be foster parents. In the remaining 36 states, gays and lesbians who want to adopt or take in foster care children are at the mercy of judges and adoption and foster agencies. (The New York Times Company, 2009)
In Virginia, the state in which I live, it permits single gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) adoption. Virginia does not clearly prohibit joint gay adoption and second-parent adoption unclear.
Here are my thoughts on this matter. I am a gay man that has been with the same partner eight years. Our home is like that of a so called “straight” couple. The only difference is there are two men under the roof. If we have the means and the love to raise a child there should be no reason why we cannot. Many studies have shown the children of GLBT couples thrive. Even though the rumor out there is that the children of GLBT couples will more than likely grow up confused or gay, IT IS WRONG!
My question to you all is why do you think this is? Do you think it is a close minded decision?
References
The New York Times Company. (2009). Where is Gay Adoption Legal: Why or Why Not. New York.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Sex Addiction: Does it Really Exist
Well does it? I have a great friend who 18 years ago was arrested for indecent exposure. He willingly knows what he did was wrong and what he needs to do from keeping it from happening again. The other day the stress became too much and he relapsed. He was arrest again for Indecent exposure. The first time his whole family walked out on him, he picked up the pieces and began to rebuild his life. He met a wonderful woman told her about all his ambitions, dreams and flaws. She accepted him for it all. This go around the wife has stayed and is working on finding out what to do to help their family move past this.
The American Psychiatric Association publishes and periodically updates the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a widely recognized compendium of acknowledged mental disorders and their diagnostic criteria. The most recent version of that manual, DSM-IV-TR, was published in 2000 and does not recognize sexual addiction as a diagnosis.
The DSM does, however, include a miscellaneous diagnosis called Sexual Disorders: Not Otherwise Specified, and includes as one of the examples of it: "distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used." Other examples include: compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships, and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.
Dr. Patrick J. Carnes is a nationally known speaker on addiction and recovery issues. He is author of Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Carnes says the same way that people can become addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling, they can become addicted to sex, anything from Internet sex to obsessive masturbation to affairs. New studies, like one at Vanderbilt University, are being conducted to determine if brains of sex addicts are somehow different, and if sex addiction is a true, measurable disorder (Manley). Yet despite growing interest in such research, there are still some who do not believe it is a true addiction. The American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual, for example, does not list sex addiction as a disorder.
Manley, G, Koehler, J. (2001). Sexual behavior disorders: Proposed new classification in the DSM-V. Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, 8:3-4, 253-265.
The American Psychiatric Association publishes and periodically updates the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), a widely recognized compendium of acknowledged mental disorders and their diagnostic criteria. The most recent version of that manual, DSM-IV-TR, was published in 2000 and does not recognize sexual addiction as a diagnosis.
The DSM does, however, include a miscellaneous diagnosis called Sexual Disorders: Not Otherwise Specified, and includes as one of the examples of it: "distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used." Other examples include: compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships, and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.
Dr. Patrick J. Carnes is a nationally known speaker on addiction and recovery issues. He is author of Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Carnes says the same way that people can become addicted to drugs, alcohol or gambling, they can become addicted to sex, anything from Internet sex to obsessive masturbation to affairs. New studies, like one at Vanderbilt University, are being conducted to determine if brains of sex addicts are somehow different, and if sex addiction is a true, measurable disorder (Manley). Yet despite growing interest in such research, there are still some who do not believe it is a true addiction. The American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual, for example, does not list sex addiction as a disorder.
Manley, G, Koehler, J. (2001). Sexual behavior disorders: Proposed new classification in the DSM-V. Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, 8:3-4, 253-265.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Gay or Straight: What's The Big Deal?
Gay men and lesbians are often portrayed as subverting society. But what are they trying to do? They are trying to be true to themselves and their values as any man or woman would do. Join the military, Get married, get the house with the white picket fence, dog and to have a family. In short, build the kind of world the religious right dreams of, except that the basic social unit is a happily married couple of the same sex. I am not disputing that the original purpose of the marriage was to facilitate procreation. But is this objective obsolete? I think so. "The present law of marriage is based on an outmoded appreciation of marriage as it operates in present-day society," one law review article says.
Marriage is now primarily an economic and emotional relationship. Marriage conveys a host of benefits unrelated to childbearing including tax breaks, family insurance coverage, and many married couples never have children. With the liberalization of adoption rules in some jurisdictions, some gay couples raise children, and using "procreative technologies" such as artificial insemination, a few lesbians have borne children after coming out.
So that being said, what’s the difference?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Kaplan Teachers - A Wide Range of Colors
Kaplan teachers the good, bad , and indifferent? I have been with Kaplan for my Certificate Program in Pharmacy Technician and now 4 Semesters towards my B.S. in Health and Wellness. I have had the most wonderful teachers there and never had an issue with them. For some reason this term has been the worst of the worst as far as a class is concerned. From the seminar not loading to student jumping down my throat. I am a very sensitive person who would do nothing to offend another person. I am on the Presidents list and Honors program. This pettiness is just not my style. Please understand I am here to help everyone and will do my best to do so.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
People and Confilts
Why in this day and age must people find confilt in any situation.
Two ways we get “hooked” into reacting to people and situations causing Conflits:
1. We make assumptions. We unconsciously react believing we understand what is happening. Assumptions can become an automatic conditioned response based on past experiences and what we believe is true. Words, phrases, beliefs, and perspectives mean different things for each person. When you assume you know what the other person means, thinks and feels, you can only know what anything means for you, not them. Some people are afraid to ask questions because they worry about looking dumb or think they should know what the other person wants. Making assumptions that are off the mark can create a lot of stress and pain. Be open to realize you might not know something! Be willing to ask for clarity so that you can eliminate assumptions that might cause conflicts and misunderstandings. Communication is an important element in fostering trust and building deeper connections.
2. We take things personally. We can feel invalidated, disrespected, attacked, unheard…The truth is that most of the time, if not all of the time, the things we take personally have nothing to do with us. Our reactions stem from the beliefs and insecurities we have about ourselves, others, and the world. I have found that personalizing is one of the main ways people experience conflicts in relationships causing many misunderstandings and hurtful feelings.
And, when your self-care is off (your life is out of balance), the tendency to overreact, become irritable, defensive, and take things personally becomes much stronger and likely to occur. That’s usually a signal to me that I’m out of alignment and need to do some things to nurture myself!
Links: http://www.joe.org/joe/1982september/
Two ways we get “hooked” into reacting to people and situations causing Conflits:
1. We make assumptions. We unconsciously react believing we understand what is happening. Assumptions can become an automatic conditioned response based on past experiences and what we believe is true. Words, phrases, beliefs, and perspectives mean different things for each person. When you assume you know what the other person means, thinks and feels, you can only know what anything means for you, not them. Some people are afraid to ask questions because they worry about looking dumb or think they should know what the other person wants. Making assumptions that are off the mark can create a lot of stress and pain. Be open to realize you might not know something! Be willing to ask for clarity so that you can eliminate assumptions that might cause conflicts and misunderstandings. Communication is an important element in fostering trust and building deeper connections.
2. We take things personally. We can feel invalidated, disrespected, attacked, unheard…The truth is that most of the time, if not all of the time, the things we take personally have nothing to do with us. Our reactions stem from the beliefs and insecurities we have about ourselves, others, and the world. I have found that personalizing is one of the main ways people experience conflicts in relationships causing many misunderstandings and hurtful feelings.
And, when your self-care is off (your life is out of balance), the tendency to overreact, become irritable, defensive, and take things personally becomes much stronger and likely to occur. That’s usually a signal to me that I’m out of alignment and need to do some things to nurture myself!
Links: http://www.joe.org/joe/1982september/
Friday, October 16, 2009
My very bad day
Ok, I hate to say it but are all customer service reps idiots? I get a box from dish network and am to send the old box back. I do exactlly that and today I get a call stating my TV is geting cut off because they didnt get the box back. I all them and tell them like hell you didnt get the box back I sent it 4days ago, I get the please hold while I look in to this...
And even though they sent me the label, they didn't have the tracking number. At least not until the second hold. UPS suggested I speak to a supervisor at Dish Network, because they had to have it.
And it isn't just Dish Network, it seems anytime I call anywhere and need help, I can't get straight answers, it seems companies, in their efforts to hire cheap, also hire incompetent.
And even though they sent me the label, they didn't have the tracking number. At least not until the second hold. UPS suggested I speak to a supervisor at Dish Network, because they had to have it.
And it isn't just Dish Network, it seems anytime I call anywhere and need help, I can't get straight answers, it seems companies, in their efforts to hire cheap, also hire incompetent.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
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