People and Confilts

Why in this day and age must people find confilt in any situation.


Two ways we get “hooked” into reacting to people and situations causing Conflits:


1. We make assumptions. We unconsciously react believing we understand what is happening. Assumptions can become an automatic conditioned response based on past experiences and what we believe is true. Words, phrases, beliefs, and perspectives mean different things for each person. When you assume you know what the other person means, thinks and feels, you can only know what anything means for you, not them. Some people are afraid to ask questions because they worry about looking dumb or think they should know what the other person wants. Making assumptions that are off the mark can create a lot of stress and pain. Be open to realize you might not know something! Be willing to ask for clarity so that you can eliminate assumptions that might cause conflicts and misunderstandings. Communication is an important element in fostering trust and building deeper connections.


2. We take things personally. We can feel invalidated, disrespected, attacked, unheard…The truth is that most of the time, if not all of the time, the things we take personally have nothing to do with us. Our reactions stem from the beliefs and insecurities we have about ourselves, others, and the world. I have found that personalizing is one of the main ways people experience conflicts in relationships causing many misunderstandings and hurtful feelings.
And, when your self-care is off (your life is out of balance), the tendency to overreact, become irritable, defensive, and take things personally becomes much stronger and likely to occur. That’s usually a signal to me that I’m out of alignment and need to do some things to nurture myself!










Links: http://www.joe.org/joe/1982september/